YouTube is fixated

After years of working in marketing, social media, and content, our perception of Tech has slowly shifted from skepticism to outright disappointment, and what once seemed like tools with unparalleled opportunities now looks more like a not-so-smart tyranny of consumer surveillance. It is not a surprise, then,  that our algorithm, always lost, just adds terms to the tag “hot guy” as the simplest way to grab attention within the randomness of our content consumption. Gay guys, we are simple. Yet we wonder whether, instead of educating, we have diskilled our YouTube algorithm to the point that it even considers showing material that we actively avoid, such as ASMR,  a whole sensory world that we, slaves of the flesh, cannot physically tolerate.

Traumatic example number one: this video of a guy licking inside an ear.

This type of content was something we first encountered while researching anime girls streaming ASMR sessions, and we cannot find words to properly express the visceral reaction those sounds produce in us. Traumatic example number two: this video of a guy suggestively looking at the camera while making sloppy sounds.

We gag just by looking at that video, and don’t find the guy ugly. We like spit, sweat, and think blow jobs should be sloppy and gagging, but that video…. So, if our readers got the idea, ASMR is something we cannot tolerate. However, when our YouTube algorithm plunges into one of its sudden obsessions and we start seeing videos of men objectifying themselves while teaching human anatomy and doing ASMR, we must at least check them.

As we have mentioned before on the blog, one of the unexpected results of platforms pivoting to short-form video is that many corners of the internet started looking like a performance or video art class on assessment week. Using your body as digital matter -to monetize- is a reality for many in the current economy, and we can only wonder where all this is going when AI, most likely, rather than replace people is here to optomize their discoverability in the sea of content creators. 

In the meantime, we can enjoy the oddity of a concept like ASMR you’re kidnapped by Himbo (forever), idea that, leaving the moral connotations aside, as Colombians, we find hard to imagine what is ASMRic about being kidnapped.

A couple of weeks ago, during a job interview, we were asked what was financially smart about applying to their position. While finding the proper HR answer, ignoring honesty, we only thought about how Himbo ASMR probably makes more with a video of him apologizing than we can make in months with our traditional jobs, insisting on using our mind rather than our body in this economy.      

Don’t ask us, we don’t know, we don’t understand. The most surprising thing about this edition of YouTube is fixated is that, in a country with an anime series for every single aspect of life, we have never crossed paths with a show about a struggling group of gymnasts overcoming all the challenges they face to win gold. Besides, this is proof that you can appreciate athletic prowess while having sound effects that enhance the movements. Again, visionary Japan. We can only think about the athlete’s parents, witnessing all the sacrifices, the hours of training, the dieting, the gym, all to go to the event and see this…

Although hot guys working out is an established genre in the current world of content, it usually follows certain rules of lightning, sound, hooks, and duration that are expected of videos to be engaging on social media. So, when our YouTube algorithm went on one of its fixations with Kevin’s Personal Hell, a handsome guy showing himself doing one exercise, with overhead lighting, no intention to explain or educate, in the most arid and straight-decorated space, we were drawn to it.

There is a lot to unpack here, literally. Considering the prevailing ideas in what people call the ‘manosphere’, we are aware that the main reason Kevin’s channel gets traction in the algorithm is that he fulfills the beauty standards of what is considered a masculine body. Yet, there is an unpretentious way to show off, to present himself as an object of desire, that reminds us more of the beefcake models in the 60’s photos, than the super-efficient, enhanced social media fitness model. We might be intentionally ignoring the problematic side here, but we are trying to say that maybe guys in general should show themselves more and enjoy their bodies, regarding shape or a clear goal??

Our favorite video is the watermelon challenge. We’ve seen an increasing amount -especially in some subgenres of porn- of videos that bring us back to our Art School days. Things that can perfectly be video art or a performance (or are already art). We can see it being displayed on a small screen, to make it more voyeuristic, on a wall of a huge, dark gallery room. Also, the channel is called Kevin’s Personal Hell; it cannot be more Sisyphean!

Now and then, our YouTube account dives into a run of recommended videos about oddly specific topics, things we never asked for, yet make perfect sense for us. Here, we celebrate YouTube’s fixations. On this occasion: Rushing On Empty, a two-lads channel dedicated to exploring different ways to do poppers.  

It might be that we clicked on one of their videos that circulates around poppers subreddits, where they are the canonical reference for how to do the sock method, but since then, YouTube insists that we must keep up to date with whatever pseudo-scientific experiment to enhance the huffing experience they do. As YouTube educated people, this is the type of educational material we need in these dark times!

We only wish they would do actual poppers reviews. Tell us about the body, the notes, the aftertaste! With the inconsistency from batch to batch of poppers, we understand it is kind of a useless thing to do. Yet, we still believe a poppers influencer is a gap in the content landscape.

So, thank you YouTube for showing the type of videos one would make after thoroughly roasting their brain with poppers.